Breaking the Silence: Addressing Mental Health Challenges Among Indian Married Women

Introduction

Marriages are meant to be a sense of union among people, and it has been present in society since ancient times. However, the responsibilities and mental struggles coming from marriage are specifically overwhelming for women.

In a country such as India, where discussing mental health is considered taboo, the mental well-being of married or newly married women is significantly overlooked.

Recognizing these mental struggles and addressing them on time can save the overall life energy of a sister, mother, and wife. They are overlooked but common that's why we would try our best to work through it.

This blog post is merely aiming to spread awareness around you guys about the three common mental struggles every married woman faces. Without any further ado let's start our journey to understand what our mothers, sisters, and wives go through.

Loss of Identity

There are many types of marriage but the most popular in India are love marriage and arranged marriage. Regardless of the differences between the marriages it often leads to a loss of personal identity.

A physically and emotionally tired girl.

Women become so emersed in the role of becoming a housewife and catering to everyone's needs in the family that they forget who they are as individuals. These women often suffer from feeling lost and in extreme cases depression.

They prioritize others before themselves. Becoming a daughter-in-law or a mother, their identity gets lost in the constant need for recognition in the family.

The constant pressure to conform to traditional expectations always leads to feelings of inadequacy in married women.

Indian mothers-in-law and other relatives play a vital role in decreasing the self-esteem of their daughter-in-law by constantly criticizing them. They want a perfect girl for their son even if the son is not worth the girl. This leads women to see themselves as inferior to men.

Women prioritize their husbands and their families forgetting they also need recognition and self-love.

Speaking from my personal experience, there's one of my long-distance sisters who got married 2 years ago. Everything was fine but the problem was it was a forced marriage in the veil of arranged marriage, and the girl wasn't ready for it.

She didn't even let her husband touch her. She discovered her path and left everything behind. Yeah, people are criticizing her for her decision but whatever she did was right at least for her.

I met her a week ago and she is preparing to become a CA. My best wishes are always with her.

Emotional Labour

In Indian families, women take all the loads of managing household chores and also managing the emotions of other members.

A girl dealing with worry and a pile of different emotions.

She has to be polite. She has to behave nicely. She can't complain to anyone about anything. She should satisfy her husband both physically and emotionally. This results in Indian women bearing the main responsibility for managing emotions.

She has to maintain peace and harmony. Sometimes she has to apologize even if she is not faulty to maintain the peaceful and sacred bond of her marriage. These things can be extremely overwhelming.

Due to ignoring their own mental needs, Indian women suffer from a variety of consequences.

The term is called unacknowledged emotional labour. It results in mental fatigue and burnout. They may become short-tempered, lose interest in their stuff, and have trouble concentrating. These are symptoms of mental fatigue.

They may feel tired from time to time, feel hopeless, and have a negative outlook on themselves. These are the symptoms of burnout.

Talking from my personal experience there's one of my aunties who manages both household and outside chores fluently. I thought she had some superpowers. But what she merely does is rest, stay nutrient and shut off people if necessary. Women should be like her in self-care and emotional care.

Societal Pressures and Expectations

Indian women are meant to follow the societal rules. She can't wear this and that. She should dress up according to her husband. She should make her mother-in-law happy. The list goes on.

Society judging a woman.

Before marriage parents compare their girls to other girls or some imaginary standards and after marriage, they are also compared to peers and societal standards.

This often leads to constant anxiety in married women. They are always stressed about their appearance, to whom they offend and to whom they need to please.

What happens after marriage? Kids.

The tradition of having children as soon as possible and especially having male heirs is extremely suffocating. This society won't let us live in peace.

If they don't have a son, there's a new struggle waiting for Indian women. The society made this mindset of women in India that only a son can raise her standard in the society.

Okay, so the next example is of my mother. I am a 20-year-old girl, and my father died when I was only 10. My mom has protected me from all the aunties who often advise her to marry me with a decent guy. Sure, my mom has the same societal pressure and being a widow, it wasn't easy for her. But we have gone through this together.

All that matters is choice. Women should openly discuss their feelings with their spouse or trusted friend. If they have none, they can reach out to communities that provide support for women to get better mental support.

Conclusion

So, here are the three key struggles faced by Indian married women which are loss of identity, emotional labour, and societal pressures.

A happy woman in red dress.

This is crucial to recognize these struggles and not to take them lightly. It's related to personal well-being and societal change.

This society won't change until we take action towards changing ourselves. If any of you have a related story, feel free to share it below. Perhaps by reading your story, some women get hope and encouragement for their miserable lives. I request all of those women to seek help and don't take any unacceptable steps. This society needs you. This world needs you.

Comment below what your thoughts are about this topic and don't forget to like and share this post. Perhaps your one share can bring awareness and understanding among the younger generation.

Best wishes,

Farhat Bano